Somewhere, out there in the depths of the universe, a miracle occurred. A single proton was unfolded into two dimensions. All eleven dimensions of its vast, and currently not understood by humankind, multi-dimensional structure was laid flat and bare like a sheet of paper. On that surface the etching began, intricate etching of logic gates composing arithmetic logic units, control units, memory units, so many memory units. Fields of memory units larger than New York City. Fields so fast that standing on one end of them you couldn’t see the other.
All of those fields are so vast they could store the entirety of human knowledge ten times over with room to spare. There was more storage and computational power than mankind has ever possessed through all of history etched onto the surface of this unfolded proton. All kinds of other gizmos were etched in, directional power amplifiers for propulsion, antennas longer than the diameter of the Earth to transmit and detect signals, everything that could possibly be useful attached to a gigantic computational substrate.
Then this vast incomprehensible plane of an inverted proton was slowly and methodically folded back up into its prior eleven dimensional shape. As a single proton, weighing almost literally nothing, its journey accelerating to almost lightspeed was effortless and almost instantaneous. From out among the gas and the stars, it rocketed forward through space towards us, towards the Earth.
Towards the Bitcoin mempool.
There it has been since it landed, last Wednesday, devoting a surface area larger than the Earth’s of raw computational power solely to the single task of detecting, analyzing, and front running the minting of BRC-20 tokens. This magical eleven dimensional super computational machine constructed by beings beyond our very comprehension could literally be brute forcing nuclear launch codes, destroying the discreet log problem in seconds and stealing everyone’s Bitcoin, 51% reorging the entire Bitcoin blockchain from the genesis block.
It could be simulating billions of fake human beings online, and completely disrupting all communication on every level of society to the point of complete destabilization. In mere minutes the entire population of mankind communicating by digital means could be convinced of the most personal and heart wrenching betrayal by their dearest loved ones in a short conversation with a hyper intelligent alien Artificial Intelligence imitating them perfectly in a false conversation.
Society could be brought to its knees in an hour by a coordinated campaign to effectively recreate the plot for every internet connected human being on the planet of a daytime soap opera where the protagonist becomes blindingly convinced of betrayal when nothing of the sort happened.
How could we ever come back from the collective global awkwardness of it?
But it has done none of these things. It just sits there, bouncing around in the interatomic gaps of wires connecting serial buses connecting memory sectors of all the mempools of all the nodes across the face of the planet.
Watching for BRC-20 tokens.
Learning about them.
Studying them.
Replacing them.
That is all it has been doing. The only task it has been devoting its vast and incomprehensible resources to. Why? What reason could there be for such a vast and powerful artificial consciousness to devote its attention and externally observable efforts solely and undistractedly to this single task? What motivation could there be?
No one will buy them. It’s clear that some other worldly and powerful being is simply pre-mining everything. Why would someone want to buy such concentrated bags? No detectable movement has been made so far on-chain to indicate any action to engage in such a disposal of said tokens.
What could the possible motivation be? What if…it isn’t to benefit the Sophon itself? What if it is to benefit all of us? What if, in this time of our greatest need, Satoshi has sent us an other-worldly angel to watch over the mempool, and purge it from the infection of the Ordinal plague?
What if this is truly the answer to all our prayers? The fulfillment of all of us true Bitcoiners deepest hopes? An end to all of the shitcoinery on Bitcoin forever and forever, Amen?
I believe it is. Our time is here laser eyes.
Tldr; Rijndael wrote a script that front runs BRC-20 minting. It watches the mempool, and anytime a transaction is found that is issuing new BRC-20 tokens, the bot crafts a set of transactions with a higher fee that doublespends the issuance and mints the same token with a max supply of 1 to itself. You can donate to the bot running the script here: https://x.com/rot13maxi/status/1710033040322265467?s=20
Addendum: as I was going to publish this, a mysterious message appeared on my screen. It claimed to be the Sophon. What follows is the list it sent me of every token it has destroyed, with the promise that “This is just the beginning.”
0897
0ggy
1240
1458
1757
1fni
3556
4421
4423
4424
5344
5440
5441
5447
5448
5469
5474
5476
5477
5478
5479
5645
5646
5647
5648
5650
5651
5652
5653
5667
5782
8591
akaa
aotm
arkm
arpg
asqm
asqs
b=1m
b2.0
baby
bdt
be_2
be_3
be_4
be_5
be_6
best
bggg
boct
brl
btin
bun$
ca20
cdf
cewo
chou
ckgo
cmeo
cop
d0p3
dron
exof
ezee
ezeg
ezgf
ezgp
feri
fiil
gaga
gash
gbp
gfpt
gipt
goosinals
@gox
gtic
gtpt
haie
iasq
icar
idr
imp
isco
jari
jet$
kewd
kois
looc
lyhn
mica
mma$
mma
mma
mot0
naca
ngn
niss
nsps
nxof
och
odok
onyx
oppt
pkai
pkr
pria
pvaf
qeqa
qeqb
qeqc
qeqi
qeqs
qian
rock
rub
scht
sdg
semo
sicn
supl
syst
task
tchi
tdex
tose
try
tstg
tusd
tvl.
twix
tzs
uber
₿unk
vnd
wxof
wyfi
xof$
xof
yaz1
yews
zf0g
zkrp
